So I've finally begun mastering the art of getting the teenagers at the hospital to feel comfortable talking to me about their deepest, darkest thoughts and feelings. It's all about making connections. I sat down the other day with a 12 year old girl and all I had to do to get her to open up was to ask her what her opinion on the Hunger Games is. Previous to that question, she gave me short, quiet answers. But young adult novels? She could talk endlessly about them. And fortunately for me, I shamelessly read books that are aimed towards 12-17 year olds.
This particular 12 year old attempted suicide. She stole a jar of medication and hoped it would be enough to take her life. Sometimes it's hard to remember what it's like to be 12 years old. But here's what I do remember. Everything is confusing. You don't recognize yourself in the mirror. It's close to impossible to think about what you want for lunch, much less what you want for your future. Relationships seem to lack meaning. Sometimes life lacks meaning. I felt all of these things at 12. But I never once considering taking my own life. Now that doesn't mean I'm any better than this girl. It just means that we are wired a little differently. In addition to the fact that I had an unusually healthy childhood. Always got rewards when I got A's in school. Always had someone to kiss me goodnight. Who's to say what I would've done had I lived the life of this young girl and felt everything she's felt.
Yet when I saw her face when I brought up her favorite hobby, I saw an individual with great potential and joy. She immediately became beautiful when she spoke about the things she loves. She may not recognize this about herself, but it was obvious to me. I could see her as a teacher. As a mother. I could see her coming into the woman she's always hoped to be.
Nobody ever seems to want to talk about suicide, yet it has touched almost every single person in this country, whether directly or indirectly. What are we so afraid of? What can I do to show this sweet 12 year old who is so full of energy and life that her presence in this world has meaning? Well I guess it's all a part of my journey as a counselor, but more importantly as a human. Who knows if I'll ever truly figure it out. But one thing is for sure. We need to start talking. We need to stop brushing things under the rug. We need to stop assuming others can deal with their stresses alone. We need to help others and do it free from judgement. Then maybe we would have a chance to save us from ourselves.
Well said. Powerful video.
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